Has God Deserted Me?

“Educative desolation does not in any way deprive the spirit of the Divine light. Only, grace hides its presence from the spirit in order to make it go forward… to have recourse in great fear and in great humility to God’s help… It is like a mother who sees her child rebel against the regular routine of feeding and so keeps it away from her arms for a while, so that when it is frightened by the intimidating aspect of men or animals it may return to nestle in its mother’s bosom…

Educative desolation brings to the soul humility, grief and a proper despair in order that the part of the soul that seeks glory and is easily exalted may return to humility. But it leads the heart immediately to the fear of God, to tears, and to a keen desire for the beauty of silence.” St. Diadochus of Photike, Gnostic chapters, 87.

We must note that the despair here is not the passion that the fathers speak of as being without all hope because we have rested our hopes solely on ourselves. This despair is that which comes to realize that we have sought a life outside of Life, God. In this coming to ourselves (as in the case of the prodigal son), this silence from God actually becomes a fruitful return to the embrace of The Father for it lets us see ourselves as we truly are.